Tomorrow...

Is our 28th wedding anniversary.

We used to take the day, go to lunch and attempt to fill the kids Christmas lists on that day. I loved this day every year. He used to as well. He mostly liked the food part but he liked Christmas very much too.

I will miss doing that.

I'm a bit of a mess over it all and hopefully work will be busy and distract me.

Then I just need to get through the rest of the holidays. My first Christmas without him. My first New Years with no New Years kiss in about 31 years.

Sometimes I think he never loved me but then again I know he did. We had something special and he threw it away.

I know I'll never love that way again.