Need to call legal aid  tomorrow. It's truly not fair she's driving a new car while we struggle to pay the rent. I will try as I wait for the big boy while he's in class.

My H is thinking of moving south to find a job. I'm okay with that. I just have to get the big boy driving so when she does leave, we won't have such a hard time. She still needs to pay for her certification too.

Stress. It's a killer. I can see why. I worry something will happen to me before the boy hits 18. I hope not but I do worry.

I'm just rambling. Tired and can't sleep.  Exhausted.

I've always worried about Christmas and this year is the worse. That's why I'm awake.

My sister is texting again. She hadn't in months. I wish it meant what I want it to but I don't know if it does.

It's been a year for us. An exhausting, life changing and challenging year for us. It would be nice to have a nice quiet family Christmas here.

Right now, I just can't picture it. So far, the state has turned us down for help. For some reason they calculate us making over $2000 more a month than we do. Such a big number and I don't know why.

Amanda's car is acting up. No clue what's wrong with it. Such a worry. She took it to a garage and they weren't sure what is wrong. I'll try driving it tomorrow. She insists the accelerator won't go down   I just don't know. We shall see.

I should try to sleep. Just worried about Christmas. :( I know we are lucky to have a roof over our heads. To be warm and dry and not live in a crumbling house. I am thankful for that.