First the good news, because well that is easy to talk about. Ken's next check should reflect the pay going back to the way it was before Spring. Any overtime or plowing he does, he'd get paid that on his normal checks. It will help out quite a bit once we catch up. Not sure how Christmas will be, but as long as it seems normal for Zachary, I'm ok with that.
I made cookies yesterday. :) I had bought some cookie making supplies with a gift card we had received for Thanksgiving. Not a lot, but some sprinkles and chocolate chips. I had bought stuff like vanilla and other ingredients before my pool job ended. Anyway, I made them yesterday so Ken could take some to work for his potluck/Christmas party. I hope they all get eaten.
*Yesterday in the mail, my Dad and sister had chipped in together and got us a gift card to go out to dinner for our anniversary. :) I was trying to not whine about not being able to do anything (25 years Monday!) because people have already given us so much and I am so grateful and thankful.
Now, my Mommy.
My Mom has been crying lately. It is hard to tell why. My sister looked it up online and it did say crying is common in people with Alzheimer's. My Dad is saying he wants to put her in a home. I understand this as it is wearing on him, it's just his attitude about it all. The other day on the phone he said "I'll keep her until the holidays, then she has to go." I thought that made her sound like a dog. I am not against a home, especially since I am not the one giving her care, it just sounded so much like he owned her, like you own a dog. I wish I could help more.
My sister and I know Mom is still aware of things. Not all things, but she is still aware. She knew my sister's husband on skype the other night and that was great. She didn't know my sister but we take what we can get. Anyway, it's possible when she doesn't do what Dad says, he might be telling her he's sticking her in a home and that is what makes her cry. We have no way of knowing, just like we don't know if he hits her when he's frustrated with her. That's what he did with us when we were young children. I wouldn't put it past him.
My Mom seems to be getting aggressive too. She is one strong little woman too. It is a worry, and I truly get that!
Yesterday they found out a "home" is $8000 a month and they can only take her out 18 days a year. 18. So now Dad is looking into Foster Care homes, but a lot of them do not want Alzheimer's patients. My sister had contacted some last year asking about that.
Now my sister is hoping he takes advantage of the adult daycare that is provided by the local health department. It is not free, but it is based on income. He won't tell them what he makes, so he will have to pay the maximum, but if he does it, it would be a break for him. He can do half days with her and whole days (8 hours). It is like daycare, they do puzzles with them and let them cook and set the table and other tasks they might be missing doing at home. Or they can rock in a chair with a doll or whatever they want to do there. Jennifer and I went to see it last year. They have a huge, beautiful fenced in yard where the patients can take a walk. It is on the edge of town so there are lots of trees and flowers. There is also home health care where someone will come in their home in the morning and evening to get Mom showered and dressed in the morning and then to help her get ready for bed. These are all things we tried to talk to Dad about last year, but he refused to listen. He was all Semper Fi (Marine thing) and he promised to take care of her till death do they part and well, he yelled at us. All five of us. So we left.
And about six months after that, he was in the hospital with chest pains.
He was fine, just stressed out and feeling it.
I feel bad because we haven't been able to travel up there. We really can't travel up there until we can afford a hotel. We can not stay with him and Mom any more. She went through our things last year. She took one of my bras (I own two), a pair of my blue jeans (my only decent pair at the time) and then she took my deodorant, a gift I had bought Z on black Friday and some things of Kens. We had to look all over to find these things.
Anyway, it's hard and it's sad. I don't mind the thought of a home because they'd take better care of her than Dad does, I know that.
I do wonder what will happen with my Mom the next 6 months, 12 months, 2 years. If she will still be with us.
My Mom made me want to be a Mommy. She wasn't perfect, but neither am I. I miss her, what she used to be. I love her.
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