So he asked to meet z and I at the nearest McDs.  I'm nervous but hopeful.

Life is exhausting. I don't know why he won't come here. The kids are here. I'm not going to lure him to my bedroom.

I sometimes wonder what the hell she puts in his head. Sure he has his own mind but we had a deep love for over 30 years and I don't believe that just dies. I know it's over but my heart aches every day.

Anyway, just hoping he's nice in front of Z. Have to work the next three over nights. Hope I get enough sleep to do it.