I wish....

I had known two years ago this was going to happen.  I would have not signed on to keep our cell phones with AT&T two more years.  We have five months left in our contract and then we will switch to a cheaper provider. 

I hadn't waited to go back to school.  Honestly, when Zachary was having his problems, worrying about him was like a full time job.  He's still having some problems, a melt down at school last week over a mistake over his ordered bagel.  :(  I was so sad to hear that news. 

Hanna would hear from that lady about substitute teaching!  I can't afford her cell phone and she needs it to get jobs! 

This hard time was over, because I know it is just temporary, but it's hard.  My sister says things like you're still online so things can't be that bad...I have no freaking clue when they will shut it off.  Or if I will be able to pay it when that time comes.  I just went through a nightmare with the electric company, it's too much to type out, but I paid them $500 on the first and they want the rest now.  They gave me a 10 day hold on the accout, if we don't pay it by then, well, it's getting shut off.  I will borrow money from a money store to pay it, it's too cold at night to have no heat. 

I'd get a call about a job. 

I could sleep better at night so I wouldn't be so tired all the time. 

I could pass my math class high enough.  How I get A's in every freaking class, but can't pass that is beyond me.  :(  Hope my brain gets it enough!! 

I could talk to my Mommy on the phone, like I used to.  I miss HER. 

I am thankful for:

The 10 day hold on the electric account, the women I talked to on Saturday said I'd be shut off any day now and there was nothing they could do about it.  They lied.  :(  They made me cry so hard my eyes were puffy all weekend.  :( 

My sister bought Eddie some clothes for his job.  I was going to scour the thrift stores and only one is not too scary to shop at around here, so I'm glad I don't have to do that. 

That we are all relatively healthy right now.  Can't afford the doctor, so healthy is good!

Ken still has his job.  There were a lot of managers let go over the summer and he wasn't one of them. 

We have food for Thanksgiving. 

Ken and I are still together.  I love him very much. 

That when I got a flat tire last week, some man cared enough to put my spare on for me.  He was so nice, I wish there was something I could do for him.  I might be able to find his house and leave a thank you card. 

The time I have today to try and figure out my math....off I go!